Late December in Texas

I feel like it is late December in Texas... all month long you crossed your fingers and hoped against hope that this was the year... it was really going to happen.  The days clicked by and the weather turned colder and on Christmas eve you prayed that a Christmas miracle would take place; that you would wake up the next morning and there would be... SNOW....

Inevitably, the next morning there was a sense of disappointment as you realized, yet again, there was no snow in December in Texas.  Wahwah...

That is how it's been every day since the due date.  Each morning we wake up and ask ourselves, "Is this the day?"  Every night we wonder, "What early morning hour will we wake up and be in labor?"  And every day this big ole' belly just mockingly laughs... "just kidding"!!


(FYI:  I'm only two days over due... drama inserted for theatrical effect)

Thoughts I have had about being overdue (remember, the hormones are doing most of the thinking)

1.  Is Firebaby just really bad with directions and can't figure out which way is South?
2.  Did Firebaby misplace his/her evacuation manual?
3.  Wouldn't it be easier if a lady's "secret garden" had gates like the jaws of a boa constrictor... that they could just dislocated in order to get the baby out. 
4.  Can't Firebaby just press the belly button and the trap door will just open?
5.  Will Firebaby's skin be darker cause he/she has been toasting longer?
6.  Is Firebaby crouched under his/her desk because he/she thought it was a tornado drill instead of a fire drill?
6.  Do doctor's schedule inducement based more on the size of the baby or the level of crazies the mother is experiencing post due date?

Things to think about....