6 Days past due...

Pregnancy is a waiting game, but when the due date comes and goes... the waiting game gets a little old.  People are so thoughtful and loving to show their concern... there is a pallor about a woman who has not yet had her baby; a dark cloud that hovers above their head; a target right on the center of their stomach that cries, "there is a baby still in here!"

These wonderful friends want to show their concern, but there comes a point when the questions and comments begin to sound the same and as the days progress, the tone of their voices creep from compassion to pity.  Here are some of the questions and comments to avoid saying to a pregnant friend who is past her due date:

Question #1:

"So, no baby yet?" ( Really?...this question should only be asked by someone who is visually impaired.)

 Response:  

"No.. had the baby, but left him at home with the parakeet and decided to shove a beach ball under my shirt of old time sake"

Question #2:

"Do you know when the baby will come?" 

Response:

"Yes, I am psychic and know the cure for cancer."


Question #3:

"How are you feeling?"

Response:

"I feel amazing... like I have a two ton bowling ball strapped to my front and the feeling as if someone kicked me in the pelvis... feeling awesome!!  Did you enjoy your colonoscopy?"

Question #4:

"Are you hot?"

Response: 

"No... even though it is 104 degrees outside and my shoes melt on the asfalt, it is a little known fact that along with amniotic fluid and a placenta, babies in the womb come with an oscillating fan."

I think I could make a great deal of money if I created a T-shirt that asked and answered all these questions so that your dear friends would not have to...

PS.. for real, thanks to everyone who has been supportive and encouraging...