Safety Patrol

When I was in elementary school at Cedar Creek Elementary, there was an elite group of student leaders known as the "Safety Patrol".  Being the nerdcake that I was, I yearned for the day when I could apply for the "Safety Patrol".  I am not sure if it was the need to please the teachers, the neon yellow plastic sash that compiled the uniform, or the deep seeded desire to lord over my fellow students... whatever it was, I LOVED being on "Safety Patrol".  Our duties included opening doors for kids, monitoring the halls for the stray students, and folding and unfolding the American Flag... looking back, I am not sure why I thought it was so fun, or why any of these activities made our school "safer"...

But I think the real reason we have these "hall monitors"..."student safety guards"..etc.. or whatever you called them at your school is because we live in a country over run with the notion of being SAFE... but unfortunately we have taken safety to the extreme.  Heaven forbid we allow a kid to skin their knees or fall off of their bikes, they might actually have to learn to deal with hurt.

I know this sounds super pessimistic,  but it's ok to have a few bumps and bruises.  No place is safety taken to an extreme than in baby and child paraphernalia:

Car Seat

Totally a dorky out of date reference, but I couldn't help it.

Colton's car seat weighs 75 lbs and is more secure than Fort Knox.  If I had a blow torch and C-4 I still could not bust him out of it.  I nearly break his arms trying to lift him out of his car seat.

Baby Carriers 

Check out how cool and hip you can look

 

I was using the Bjorn at church the other day... it took me about 45 minutes to get Colton into the sling, and then another 30 minutes to realize his left arm was hanging out the leg hole at the bottom.  So, once he was securely in it, it was wonderful to have him so securely strapped to my front.  The problem occured when he started wailing.  I nearly dislocated my own arm trying to reach around to figure out how to get him out of the crazy contraption.  Some sweet lady in the restroom had to come to my aid to untangle me from the web of straps.  That did wonders for my baby's screaming.

I know safety is important, but sometimes the amount of straps and clips and clamps and ties can drive a mother who is on the edge of the cliff of Mount Frazzled, right off into Canyon of Crazy.  I think about our trip to Africa and how the women strapped their babies on their backs with one big bolt of cloth and covered their heads with a gourd to keep the sun off.  They've got it figured out.  Sorry Graco and Chicco, cause I could just duct tape Colton to my back and throw half a pumpkin over his head and we would be good to go...