Dear Abby: Advice to New Moms...

Why was "Dear Abby" such a popular advice column?  My theory is that Abby was super popular pre-internet days.  Were Abby to start her "advice business" in our current instant gratification, techno-savy world, she would have been booted to page 30 in the speed at which a text can be sent and received.  (Kind of a lame simile, but it fit the theme of the sentence)

Point being, we want advice and answers instantly.  My question is... why do we solicit advice anyway?  In the "days of yore" (blanket term for an ambiguous time in history for those not truly interested in the accuracy of sources) women simply relied on their mothers and grandmothers to give them advice on being a wife, pregnancy, and motherhood.  Now days, our grandmothers and mothers are simply not expert enough for us.

We turn to websites and a library of books for parenting advice.  And here is the kicker... every book seems to contradict itself.  Case in point:

1.  One book says that holding a baby too much can spoil them and lead them to dependency on their mother

• result:  these kids will grow up to be 45 year old men still living at home and having their mother's do their laundry as they play Dungeons and Dragons in the basement and create fake facebook accounts under the name Astronaut Mike Dexter.

2.  The other book says that if you do not hold your baby enough, they will suffer trauma from the lack of attention

• result:  these kids are the ones who dress in black and "rage against the machine" while stealing $20 from your wallet and flipping you off.

3.  Another book says that you should never rock your kids because they will never learn to sleep on their own.

• result:  the rising issue of mothers sneaking into their student's dorm rooms to rock them to sleep at night and the recent Senate bill to outlaw rocking chairs.

4.   One book states that you need to "simulate" the womb for infants because they really need a 4th trimester in the womb and were born too early.

• result:  100 % of babies around the world who missed the memo and arrived too early and the increase in 25 pound babies.

According to these books... every mother in history has messed up their kids... hummm kind of makes sense with the whole idea of a "fallen world".

All of these books have some merit, but need to be read through a filter...some filters need to be thicker than others...  The same thing goes with the advice of friends.  Everyone want to tell you how they raised their kids and that their method was fool proof.  However, every child is different and every parent is different.  The answer is somewhere in the middle....

So...
Dear Abby;

I am a new mom and so many people are giving me advice.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Unable to Think for Herself