Thursday, July 29, 2010

Evils of the Internet

BTW:  WebMD is like crack to worry warts like me.  We get a thought into our head, especially having to do with anything and everything that would go wrong with our pregnancy, and we sprint to the nearest source... webmd.

In all actuality, WedMD and like sources offer a variety of helpful facts and opinions from reputable sources, however, to those who are prone to fixate, it feeds a deep seeded anxiety that blossoms full grown into a forest of worry and fear. 

I take every ache and pain and believe that is is actually happening to me.  All of a sudden, I begin to feel and experience every symptom listed on the website and spiral into a chasm of anxiety. 

Because of my middle of the night/ early morning insomnia of late, I have found myself surfing the internet to answer all my questions about pregnancy.  Unfortunately, you can find just about any answer you are looking for/ or not looking for... and there is an expert who agrees with every single opinion. 

I have to think back to how many trillions of women have been having healthy babies for centuries around the world long before WebMD was invented.  Women who only ate corn cakes and collard greens shot out healthy babies.  Women in huts living off of monkey meat and grub worms birthed healthy children.

Here's to you WebMD... thanks for ruining our ignorance with all possible senarios of medical phenomenon.  BTW:  my husband has banned the internet for me between the hours of midnight and 8 am.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

It's been a while...

It has been a while since posting last on the blog.  This summer has been relatively busy.  We are in the final stretches of the race... only three more weeks!!!  (I say that with a hint of sarcasm because I have a feeling this little "shim" ..she + him... is gonna make a late appearance. 

Among other things, the most visible change is not the size of my belly, to the dismay of everyone who has been asking how far over my due date I am... thanks people.  The most visible change is my mood.  You may be asking, "how one's mood be visible?"  Oh, my dear friends, you have not "seen" my emotions then.  They exhibit themselves in a rainbow of colors...
1. green:  calm and peaceful (probably just had a quiet time with Jesus)
2. blue: tears and a down turned mouth (just tried on a pair of pants that don't fit or caught an unfortunate view of my posterior)
3. purple: great day... life is good... hung out with friends or my husband just called me "sexy"
4. red:  STAY AWAY... usually contingent on an unfortunate encounter with horrible customer service or road rage..  (also associated with colorful usage of word choice)
5. orange:  slightly lighter reaction than red (occurs when I drop something or make a dumb mistake)

Lately I have been staying in the red-blue stage of the color wheel of emotions.  My poor husband has been disappearing to Culver's to work on his grad school assignments... at least that is what he is saying...

Monday, July 5, 2010

"You're Beautiful"

People are so kind when you are pregnant...especially when you are in your 8th and 9th month.  They love to come up and say "You are so beautiful!".  Now, we all know that a pregnant woman suffers from many physically morphing phenomenon.  See below:
1.  face expands to cartoon like state (especially the nose region)
2.  volcanic eruption of groves of zits pop up on your face (and neck if you are as lucky as me)
3.  the ever expanding "trunk of the car"
4.  the "turkey temperature gage" on your tummy pops out
5.  you become dissected by the mysterious brown line of symmetry down your bump
6.  feet swell (not swell, as in "great, awesome, cool"... swell as in sausages exploding out of sandals)

But I think the most beautiful thing about being pregnant are the hidden tricks women use to continue with their lives...
1.  maternity support belt: hidden under the closes to hold up and support the muscles and tendons
2.  wearing your husbands boxers cause "nothing else seems to fit"
3.  giving up your cute nighties for your husbands XXL white undershirts: Sorry Jessica... "nothing but your t-shirt on" does not make you feel beautiful
4.  long shorts or "lorts" cause shaving above the knee just isn't going to happen... the physics does not seem possible

But to all the precious friends and family out there who continue to tell pregnant women how beautiful they are... bless you!!  Keep that myth alive...