Monday, October 4, 2010

Social Experiment

I am constantly amazed at the things babies can get away with...  There seems to be a different set of social norms specific to infants and toddlers.   There are things that babies are not only "allowed" to do, but are found cute that, if done by an adult, would result in social censure. 

Examples:

1.  Pooping in public:  Colton will make a grimace that makes you think his head is about to explode.  No, his head is not exploding.. he is simply pooping.  And do we gasp in horror?... no, we cheer him on.

2.  "Ripping one" in public:   Where else in life can you sit on someone's lap and let out a reverberating fog horn and have everyone cheer, "YEA!! That was a good one bubba!!!"

3.  Spitting up on down someone's front:  Only if you are a frat daddy in your Sophomore year in college is it quasi appropriate to puke on someone else.  And that is only a socially acceptable behavior between the hours of 1:00am and 2:00am.  After that, they turn back into a pumpkin and become "that guy".

4.  Sucking on your fingers:  We "ooo" and "ahh" as Colton sucks on his precious little fingers, but as an adult, the only slightly appropriate time to suck your fingers is if you
                    A) get a paper cut, and then you only have a 5 second window in which to suck your   finger.  Any lingering after the 5 second rule results in a decrease in public opinion.
                    B)  when you are eating cheetos and the leftover cheese residue remains on your fingers.  However, you have to very quickly lick off the neon orange cheese and if you are caught, you have to smile sheepishly as if you are aware of how low on the social appropriate scale that action is.

 5.  Wearing a "Snap Crotch" outfit:  Imagine seeing a grown man hanging out at the local coffee shop reading his newspaper wearing a snap crotch onesie... not a pretty sight.  I have enough issue with the current appropriate male onesie out there:  the wrestler's singlet and the cyclist's spandex get up.  Add a snap crotch to either of those, and we are in big trouble.

6.  Bed head is not only acceptable, but "adorable":  The crazier Colton's hair... the cuter.

So here is the social experiment I will throw out there to the world and see who would be willing to jump on board...  Is there a brave soul who would be willing to try all the "cute baby norms" in public and see how many strange looks they receive... not to mention the number of arrests.

Unfortunately... I think my husband would be the first to sign up for that challenge.  Lucky me!!!

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