Swagger Wagon

That's right... I have am officially a mom.  The birth of my child five months ago did not fully usher me into the realm of motherhood.  There are only a few indicators of a "true mother":
1.  Mom jeans (high waisted with a hint of elastic around the waist)
2.  Spit-up / food stains on your shirt (coffee stains do not count, as they are the honor badge of most adults and not exclusively linked to moms)
3.  Cheerios or Teddy Grahams smashed into your car carpet

These are all identifying marks, but the true test of a "real mother".......

The MiniVan

I am a proud driver/ owner of my own Swagger Wagon.  I can cruise with my windows down, rocking out to Dave Crowder, coastin through the Chick-fil-a drive thru, ordering my diet Dr. Pepper.... in my Swagger Wagon!!

Tomorrow???

So tomorrow is supposed to be the "BIG DAY".. however, I do not think that is going to become a reality.  So many of my friends have given me advice on how to "make the baby come".   I am coming to believe that these suggestions are from the law firm of "Tooth Fairy, Santa, and Sasquatch".

Myth #1:  Spicy Food

This is definitely a myth.  The only thing that spicy Mexican food will give you is a bottle of tums and a fun filled night of heartburn.

Myth #2:  Walking half on the curb/ half on the street

This is one of the more creative urban legends.  The only possible outcome of this particular myth (being particularly nimble at 9 months) is a broken ankle while going into labor.  There could be a plus to this myth... you could kill two birds with one stone and have your ankle set while getting an epidural. 

Myth #3: "High-Fiving" your husband

There are several downfalls to this particular myth.  First of all, when you are the size of the Titanic, it's challenging to "high five".  Secondly, there is not a huge desire to actually "high five" your husband... you love him dearly, but there is an alien doing the cha cha in your tummy.  Finally, the actual physics of giving a "high five" becomes a challenge when there is a watermelon strapped to your abdomen. 

Myth #4:  Drinking Castor Oil

There actually might be some truth to this one, but, come on... it's Castor oil.

BJ and I had a couple of suggestions to add to the list of wives tales....

1.  Trail of bread crumbs (or a brownie... whatever...)

2.  Shine a flashlight and chant "go towards the light"

3.  Jumping on a trampoline

4.  Riding on the back of a camel

5.  Have someone jump out and scare you (works with the hiccups)

6.  Something with osmosis???